This is obviously not programming, but it's important and we're smart people, so let's give it a shot. (BP has actually begun soliciting suggestions for how to deal with the crisis http://www.deepwaterhorizonresponse.com/go/doc/2931/546759/, confirming that they don't have a clue)

I'll start with my own proposal...

Anchored Chute: A large-diameter, collapsible, flexible tube/hose with a wide mouth on one end is anchored over the leak. There's no need for a hermetic seal, the opening just needs to be big enough to form a canopy over the leak area. The rest of the tubing can just be dumped on the sea floor. Since oil is denser than water, the oily water that flows into the mouth eventually inflates the tube and raises the opposite end to the surface, where it can be collected (Like those inflatable dancing air socks at car dealerships). Further buoyancy could be added with floats attached to the tube at intervals.

I think this method would not be as susceptible to the problems BP had with the containment dome, where a rigid, metal casing froze up with crystallized hydrates, as we would not be trying to contain the full pressure of the well, but would be using the natural buoyancy of the oil to channel its flow, and with a much larger opening.